5 Days and Counting

I am in the single digits now...  and waiting has never been so hard.  Knowing I am so close and yet still not there yet is enough to drive me crazy.  I cannot believe this dream I have held in my heart for years now is about to become reality.  It still hasn't fully hit that I am going. That I am actually doing this. That the time has come..  But closer I get the more real it gets.  I have these feelings inside me that are in constant battle.   I am so very excited for this adventure God is taking me on, but am so not excited to leave the place I have called home and the people I call family (which includes my friends and church family). Nevertheless...the time has come for me to put action to the faith I claim to have.

My bags are full...and I still have more to add ((praise God for sending Fox River a week after me!!!))  My heart is fuller, overflowing actually.  My emotions are running wild.  My excitement at a new peak.  Yet at the same time fear is rearing its ugly head.  Wondering if I can actually do this.  Can I really leave my family, my church, my friends, most of my life behind?  Do I have what it takes to lead these people?  What if I can't?  These things threaten to keep me up at night.  They try their best to distract me from this joy in my heart for a passion long desired and finally coming to be.  God has the victory in this...for the most part.  The truth is that sometimes I let the fear take over.  I give up and let my mind wander into the unknown of fears and doubts and worries. I let it disable me for a while until I remember ((or am snapped out of it by a slap in the face)) that I cannot live in fear.  I cannot let the unknown disable me of what I do know.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has brought me to this time in my life and this exact moment to fulfill whatever it is He has planned for my summer.  I know that the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is within me. I no longer have to be enslaved to fear.  Because I AM A CHILD OF GOD.  I do not need to worry because God has brought me this far and He is not about to start failing now.  He has been faithful to it and He will be faithful through it.  He is so so good!  Amen?!

Will you pray for me?  That I can keep my eyes locked on the One who has been so faithful to me, that I would not let the unknown keep me up at night, that I stay humble and willing to do what God is asking of me today and everyday.  For the people who will become my family in Nicaragua.  Pray that I remember what I actually need and forget the things that will only be a distraction to me.  Thank you for being part of my life and what God is doing in and through it! 


 "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing."                                                                                                                  1 Corinthians 13:1-3