I am so excited to share some news with you! In just a few short days, I am heading back to Nicaragua to attend language school. I will be studying 4 hours a day 5 days a week...my brain is already tired just thinking about it. hahaha! This is something I have known I would need since I left in 2016 for my first extended trip to Nicaragua. To say that things have not gone the way I expected would be an extreme understatement...But looking back now, I wouldn't change a thing. God's plan is so SO much better than my own.
Let me share with you a little bit of what brought me here...
In 2016, I left for my very first 3 month stay in Nicaragua. While I was there, God confirmed for me that Nicaragua would someday be the place I called home. It felt like home. It still does. Honestly, when I left for that trip, I assumed that I would do the three months, go pretty much straight to language school, and then move there within the next year or so...Well, that was not God's plan for me. After I completed my few months serving there, I made my way back to Wisconsin not knowing when I would return to Nicaragua, but God knew. Over the last few years, I have gone back and forth between Wisconsin and Nicaragua, spending about 10 months altogether in Nicaragua. I could talk for days about what I have learned and what I had the opportunity to experience on this journey...but that is not the point today.
In February, God showed me that I was not allowing Him to really truly be in control. He revealed to me that I was using "waiting" as an excuse to not do anything. And even more than that I was using it as a wall to hide what was really going on.. I was afraid. Afraid of what might happen if I leave, afraid of trusting God with my whole life, afraid of failing, afraid to break free from comfort and do something different and new. To be honest, I didn't even know that was something I had brewing inside of me because I had told the story so many times that I started to believe it myself. "I am just waiting for God to say 'go' and then I will." While I told everyone that I was waiting on God, I knew there was more I could be doing...I just didn't want to. I didn't want to move forward because that meant I would have to let go of some of the fears I had grown so comfortable with. My fears had become normal and familiar enough that I stopped trying to fight them and just gave in. And let me tell you that is a dangerous place to be! A place where you are okay with being afraid, in a stagnant place, one that is full of lost opportunities and without growth.
When God showed me these pieces of myself on February 16th, I sat stunned for a while. How had I allowed myself to get here? It was in the daily decisions to not take my "little fear" to God and instead hiding it in shame. So it was there that I made the decision to stop allowing my fear to control my life. I was going to do what God asked of me no matter how scary it was or how stupid it sounded to anyone else. I knew that going to language school was my next step in this journey. With the help of God and my friends, I found a school in Nicaragua. Next I contacted them about taking some classes. I am enrolled in a program that will be one on one with my teachers. It will be completely tailored to me and allow me to get the most out of my schooling.
I am also really excited about having the opportunity to speak and help lead worship at a women's retreat while I am there. The theme of the weekend is Fruit of the Spirit and I will be speaking on faith. It is Oct 4 & 5 in La Esmeralda. I will be having a translator for this one since it will be just two weeks after I start my classes.
Prayer Requests:
- That I would be able to have a clear and focused mind as I go into my classes
- To have boldness and not be afraid to make mistakes in conversations
- For ministry opportunities
- As I prepare to speak at this women's retreat that I would be attentive to the Spirits voice and sensitive to His leading
- For God to reveal to me my next step and to prepare my heart for whatever that might be
Thank you so much for reading and walking this journey with me. I am committing to be better at posting on here and sharing what God is doing in my life..will you keep me accountable? If I don't post for a while message me and ask what is going on!
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